Feeling Fulfilled

Within the last month I have spoken with two moms who were contemplating making the switch from working outside the home to becoming stay-at-home moms.  Both expressed concerns over feeling bored, isolated, unscheduled, and worried about the temptation to stay in their jammies all day.  For the last five years I have been staying at home with my twins.  I do have a small business, but it does not take much time each week.  I can honestly tell you that in the last five years I have NEVER felt bored!  In my opinion, boredom is a state of mind.  You have the power to change that.  There have been days when I have felt unmotivated or just down right worn out.  But those two feelings are very different from being in a state of boredom.  In fact, most days I wish I had more hours in the day because there is so much I want to do! 

I have heard some stay-at-home moms say they don't feel fulfilled.  I can honestly say that I feel fulfilled.  In fact, I was recently asked to return to work in the profession that I worked in before the boys were born.  It was tempting, but when it came down to it, the main reason I would have returned was for money, not fulfillment.  I decided that I would rather have a little more time at home with my boys than money.  I can always earn it later.  I can't get the time back. 

I want to address the importance of having a plan for the day. When you say the words schedule or routine some people automatically cringe.  They associate those words with BOR-ING.  However, as I've said before in earlier posts, a schedule actually allows you to think less and be more productive.  I am not here to tell you what your schedule should look like.  Although you may have certain commitments like getting older children to school on time, you are in control of the majority of your day.  Take charge of those hours! 

Here's the key to having a schedule: flexibility.  Life happens and sometimes things just don't go as planned. It's ok.  When this happens know that when you wake up the next day you have the opportunity to try it again.  I am not talking about scheduling every minute of your day.  Ugh!  That is just setting yourself up for feeling frustrated.  Having a reasonable idea about what needs to happen each day is key to feeling like you have accomplished something which leads to a feeling of fulfilment.

Let me share with you what our typical schedule is during the week so you can see an example.  Monday, Wednesday, & Friday: 7:30 get up, brush teeth, get dressed, eat.  Out the door by 8:40 to Preschool at the Y.  While the boys are in school I am either exercising, running errands, or working on a project at home.  11:30 pick the boys up from school.  Eat lunch with Dad at home. We typically have 1:00 to 5:00 open to play with friends, work on a science project, bake cookies, watch a movie, or go somewhere like the library, park or pool.  Anything can happen within those 4 hours.  On Tuesdays my mom usually has the boys so I am able to get projects done, shop by myself or or just have a break.  Thursday is kind of a free day for us.  It's the only day we don't have to get up and go somewhere.  We are taking advantage of it because we won't have that when it's time for Kindergarten in August.  On these days sometimes we DO stay in our jammies all day.  It's ok!  Because we aren't doing it every day it's a treat, not the habit of a slacker.   

I find that making lists helps me tremendously.  I am preparing an entire post dedicated to this subject, but until then, trust me, make lists!  Make them each night for the next day.  You will feel prepared for the day when you get up.  Keep running lists of things you need to do.  At all times I have a list of projects I want to complete, such as cleaning out my closet,  a list of things that need to happen each day like making a cake to take to church for a funeral dinner, and a grocery list so I can add items to it when I run out of them.  Keep the lists in a place that is accessible so you can view them and add to them, and of course cross things off them.

Caring for your children and your family is the most important job you will ever do.  Work at it like you would work for an employer.  You would not show up to a board meeting at your office unprepared.  Take the steps to prepare for your role.  Suit up, show up, give it your best and find fulfilment!